Haaa, a Hebrew Treasure

Dude, this frog and this mouse are escaping from a flood in India. The frog was just like, "Dude, climb on my back, and I will carry you to safety, and we shall be companions," and the mouse is like, "Yes." That is why animals do not fight in wars.



Often in the eastern parts of the world, like Indonesia and India and Pakistan and shit, there are all these calamities and natural disasters, and outrageous amounts of people die.

Today at work the faucet refused to bring forth hot water. "It is not hot," I said. "Its spirit is ill."
Some people wear foolish clod-hoppers on their feet.

Haa, I used to baby-sit for this scatter-brained black woman named Mrs. Cheston, and once we were driving along in her van and she said, "You know, I saw on the news that all these teenagers right here in Orange Village are roaming through people's yards at night and eating people's morning glories and it gets them high. And I just hate to think that, for all I know, my morning glories are getting some teenage boys high. Can you believe people would do such a thing?"

And it just occurred to me, do people really do that shit, or is it just foolish paranoid-people talk?

For to whom much is given, much is required, MOTHERFUCKERS
(haaa, I was an angry and foul-mouthed black preacher, kind of like Reverend X in that movie that Janine showed us, who says, "Bitch, I'm flowin straight from the survival scroll!")

My brother turned on Law and Order.
"Is this the episode where a man is killed after desecrating a Hebrew treasure?" I said.
"Uh, no," he said.
"Oh," I said.

Dude, tonight my mom came into the kitchen wearing this huge pale pink robe, to drink a glass of warm water before bed (ugh, she is nasty like that. I would never do such a thing), and I said, "Mom, when you wear that robe, you look like a spirit." "Hmmm," she said. She often gives very vague and indefinite answers, and talks of wandering and mundane things. Also she has been wearing sunglasses inside the house constantly because her eyes are all sensitive to light. And other people, like Jen E, wear sunglasses indoors because their eyes are high, and others, like my ex-ex-boyfriend, wear sunglasses indoors because it is cool, and hardcore.

Today when I came into work my boss Mahmoud wanted me to do many things at once and I said, "Mahmoud, am I a spirit, that I might do three things at once?" and he said, "Well, at least try." He is often very resolute.

And after he yelled at the stupid new guy Masoud many times, in scathing language (he is very good at ranting, and he does it a lot, in English and in Arabic, and it is quite a thing to behold), Masoud was born a new creature, and he was creepily hard-working and kept frantically sweeping and scrubbing everything down, and being endlessly helpful to me.

"Mahmoud, you put the fear of GOD into him!" I told my boss today. "You lit a FIRE under his ass!"

He thought that was funny and laughed, and he is not really a person given to laughter, but he likes the idea of putting the fear of God into people, because it makes him feel powerful. Also he is 45 and not married, and he is really tall and skinny with a disproportionately small head, and he is starting to go bald.

"In Mexico they say, he need a wife," said Armando, and shook his head.

But he has patriarchal attitudes in his heart, and that is probably partly why he is having trouble finding a wife. But all men hold patriarchal attitudes in their heart, to some extent. That is what I have learned.

Last night the ladle was missing, and Ramin suggested that Armando had taken it back to Mexico with him on the train, and we all laughed heartily. Because he lives in Tijuana, and just commutes on the trolley every day, and he showed me his bus pass and said, "This is my drivers' license," and laughed heartily, because he is a jolly soul.

Wow, I am really high, and have written a lot of words. Good Lord. And tomorrow I am off so I have set my alarm clock for 10:07am, so I can get up and smoke under the house while everybody else in my family is at church, and then chill out and sit on the balcony and listen to music and have a peaceful morning, because that is the one time of the week that I know they are all safely occupied at once, because the service starts at 10:00, and will last at least until noon. It is good when they are all worshipping the Lord so I can indulge in that which is most dear to me. Hahaha.
~Sage