Whoa, another installation of the chronicle.

My sister and brother threatened to throw me a surprise party featuring only meat and board games, which are two things I truly hate.

"I have to go to the bathroom SO BAD," said Nada.
"Go," I said. "Don't soil yourself."

For some reason people think that Nada and I are the same person, or else that we are sisters, just because we are both broads with brownish skin and curly hair, even though she is 17 and I am almost 23, and also she wears monstrous hoop earrings every day and has braces and I do not, and also we're diffrerent ethnic persuasions (she is Latina and I am not). Today some broad was like, "Oh, I see your sister's working over in the market next door," and I was like, "Dude, she isn't my sister. We're different RACES," and the broad laughed (she was a hearty African broad, and had a yellow cab pick her and her groceries up from the grocery store).

"Go on your break, fool," I said to Nada when I returned from mine. "I cast you out of my heart."

Dude, if weed is ever legalized in my lifetime (which I doubt, but we can hope), I shall gather all my children and grandchildren and family members about me, and we would all smoke a bowl together, in peace, and harmony, and love.

"You have no excuse," this hearty Russian broad said into her phone, and it sounded threatening.

When I came into work after my pre-work smoke, the restaurant was very, very hot. "It isn't hot today; it's very breezy," said Mahmoud. But it was not true at all. "It ain't breezy back here, with all the flames and FIRES and shit!" I said angrily to Luis. He agreed.

When smoking out of my homemade pipe (it is made of two pen-caps), I accidentally got ash in my mouth and had to spit in the dirt. I felt bad because I do not usually spit on the ground. "Well, JESUS spit in the dirt," I told myself, and I felt better. It is true.

John 9
1. And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.
2. And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?
3. Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.
4. I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.
5. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.
6. When he had thus spoken, he spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and he anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay,
7. And said unto him, Go, wash in the pool of Siloam, (which is by interpretation, Sent.) He went his way therefore, and washed, and came seeing.

Dude, it's TRUE.