The Tigris, and the Euphrates

After smoking, I waved my wife-helper above my head like a rally towel to disperse the smoke. "Let the various airs flow through the household," I said in a creepy voice.

At work, Nada and I were talking about this broad Fatima who is a biotch. "You know what we have to do? " I said in my stoner voice.
"We should choke her," Nada said firmly.
"Whoa," I said. "Not all this violence."

"Mahmoud," I said to my boss, "have you ever seen the Tigris, or the Euphrates?"
"Yes," he said, "and they are the most beautiful rivers." I was impressed.

Lately when I am high I like to look at sweet pictures of ostriches and tortoises. Does it hurt worse to push a child through your vag, like mammals, or to push a huge-ass egg through your vag, like ostriches? I am curious.

Tortoises often look proud or wise or horribly pissed off, and are usually vegans as well. They have funny expressions.

Whoa, on this fucked-up Japanese website I found a photo of this small live turtle sitting on this terrified rabbit's head. Sometimes the Japanese do bizarre things with the animals they keep as pets (it's true. I am not making a racist and uninformed generalizations), and they are often subject to strange social disorders and have a really low birthrate and a patriarchal culture.

Also in the news there was this really old broad tortoise named Harriet who just died (she was 176), but she was not as old as that turtle to whom there is a tribute on Greg and Tristan's wall.

HAAAAAAAA. I also attached the funniest picture ever. It is a komodo dragon lying on the ground and it looks like it is dead. I have been looking at it and laughing for a long, long time, because I enjoy pictures of bizarre animal things, but not animal porn or bestiality (that is your realm, B-Scoot).

I am high and tired and want to go to bed.