Various Matters

Haha. You guys are probably all like, "Whoa, another part of the chronicle? Already? The Sage must be a true pothead." And of course that is nothing you did not already know.

Today I smoked on my break and then brought a cart full of bottled drinks to replenish my drink cooler when I came back. Mahmoud and Luis seemed to have had a disagreement in my absence, and it had made them crabby. "Look," I said, "Can't we all just be pleased that I have brought a lot of great drinks?" And the discord was eased.

Yesterday Armando worked so hard that his nose bled. It is true.

When the lights are off in the grocery store next to the restaurant where I work, it looks like the devil's palace.

The other night on television there was this patriarchal Miller Lite commercial where a bunch of generic masculine white men sit around and talk about Man Laws, and I held up my finger and said, "This is hegemonic masculinity!" and my father, who was sitting in the rocking chair, just looked at me and said, "Daughter, sometimes I wonder what WashU DID to you."

Also yesterday he turned 49, and my mother made him a Birthday Pie a day late.

Also the other day I was high and watching Cops with my little brother, and a segment featuturing the Pittsburgh Police Department was introduced, and I howled, "PITTSBURGH?" and my brother said, "THIS should be interesting," because since we are from Cleveland we love to make fun of Pittsburgh people, and scoff at the foolish things that they do (and there are many).

For example, when the Pittsburgh Steelers' quarterback Ben Roethlisberger crashed his motorcycle a week ago (he is kind of voluptuous) and was rushed to the hospital for a 7-hour facial surgery, these two middle-aged broads dressed all in black and gold took up a vigil outside the hospital with a mini-grill, and they vowed that they would not leave until Big Ben was released, and THAT did not happen until three days later.

Those are the kinds of foolish things that Pittsburgh people do. Also their fans get into fights each other on the side of the road for no reason, and they have no sense of shame, and they eat a lot of hoagies and pierogies and other foods that make them voluptuous and belligerent.

At work there is this broad named Fatima who is half Middle Eastern and half of the African-American persuasion, but she is very dark so we call her Black Fatima (becuase there is another Fatima who is all Middle Eastern, and we don't like to get confused). Black Fatima came to the grill to get something to eat, and the owner's daughter Sara (she is 5 and a delightful child) looked at me and at Black Fatima and said, "Are you two sisters?" and Black Fatima said, "That's a racial comment, girl," and it was a moment of racial comedy.

Also Fatima's last name used to be McAbee, but then this past year her father got all hardcore and changed his last name to Mumar-Abdul, so now Fatima and all her sisters have to change their last names too, because that is the patriarchal society that we live in.

When I was really little I thought the name Fatima was really funny because it began with FAT.

And that is all.